033/ What I'm Wearing: 2023 Weeks 21 & 22
How my outfit turned into a deep dive into my (and my sons') Love Languages, more "minimal effort" casual outfits, and a few stellar consignment finds.
Happy Sunday dear readers!
This edition of WIW will be out-of-order, starting with last night’s outfit first, because it prompted a whole line of thought about my Love Languages (seriously) which is top of mind right now.
Day 7
I’d been sick and working out my bed for the last half of the week (and still am as I write this), but it was a close friend’s big birthday bash last night so I did all that I could mentally to get myself there, even though I left within an hour, and slept until 11am today.
Anyway, does anyone remember the time I was wearing a variation of this outfit and my eight-year-old son asked me to “dress more basic”? Well last night, I had finished changing and walked into the family room where my sons were watching TV. My six-year-old sees me, his eyes and face light up, and he says, “mama, you’re so beautiful!” … then, as a six-year-old does, promptly turns his attention back to the TV, as I smother him with kisses and hugs while his gaze remains firmly fixed on the screen in front of him.
Reader, my heart melted in that moment. And I think I will remember his words, possibly, for the rest of my life. Which got me thinking, “why did it mean so much to me?”
Here’s where the Love Language concept comes in. Last week, my girlfriend and I got into a long conversation about what we need from our relationships (from our friendships, yes, but mostly from our partners), and the Love Languages came up.
Despite hearing about Love Languages everywhere and even owning the book, much like my hesitancy to define my personal style in words, I’ve had a hard time pinning down what my own Love Languages are. Adding to the confusion is that I think how I show people love is a different language from what I need from people to show me that they love me.
For a long time, I’ve suspected that what I need from people are Words of Affirmation and Touch. But, I also didn’t want to admit this because I believe(d) that needing Words of Affirmation and Touch regularly (even, at times, constantly) was “needy” and, therefore, weak. Is it a coincidence that my Asian parents didn’t express their love this way while I was growing up and I sub-consciously yearned for it? Probably not. #iykyk
My sons’ very different reactions to my outfit also made me think about the their Love Languages. For instance, my youngest is super cuddly and tells me he loves me often, whereas my eldest is not a touchy feely kid at all and has probably said “I love you” to me twice in his life. There are times I feel sad about this, but I need to understand my own biases (that love = Words of Affirmation and Touch) so I can make space for the ways that they express their love for me. Of course my eldest loves me, he just shows that to me in his own way, like his need for Quality Time, my undivided attention and being heard.
Anyway, about the outfit, because this is a style newsletter!
I felt like a pile a merde yesterday, and after trying on three other outfits, I felt most comfortable in this Cecilie Bahnsen set because, thanks to its voluminous skirt, I could literally exhale my bloated belly from all the sugar alcohols contained in my cough drops. I used the flats, leather jacket and cotton fringe handbag to take it down a notch, while using the white sapphire rivière necklace and silver earrings to kick it back up again.
Day 4 & 6
My 21 Minimal Effort Casual Outfits newsletter from last week resonated with many of you because that’s like 90% of our real lives, so I’ll try to throw more into my WIWs going forward!
On the left, I’m headed to an outdoor PTA fundraiser where I volunteered to sell pizza. On the right, I was like the Walking Dead, having just gotten out of bed at 5:30pm to brush my teeth so I could walk over to the pharmacy to buy those aforementioned cough drops. Amazingly, despite my shoulders drooping forward and staring at the ground while walking, someone stopped me to say that they loved my outfit.
My observations in the minimal effort newsletter rang true for these looks too, including the importance of nailing down your WithOut Fails (in Tibi parlance), and that the individual pieces needed to be interesting enough to stand on their own and not need much extra styling. Perhaps you may want to go back and read the whole post in context!
Day 5
This outfit was also in my minimal effort newsletter, but with the added effort of choosing the right bag. Minimal effort would have me going for my black APC Eva bag or black Celine Tri-fold, but I liked the idea of the adding a third neutral tone with the olive bag, and choosing the white/olive striped strap over the solid olive strap (I have both) to add a pop of fresh white. I also swapped out the navy sunglasses for my brown toned glasses which felt like the right tonal fit here.
Day 1
Now onto some stellar consignment finds.
These Tom Ford mules are spectacular! I found a pair on Poshmark in size 8, which are not in the best condition, but not bad. Honourable mention goes to this Isabel Marant Etoile long wool sweater which has been a good styling tool with skirts and dresses.
Day 2
Another stellar consignment find: this jacquard floral Comme Des Garcons structured skirt! I found it at local Toronto consigner, Rewind Couture, but this is the exact skirt off the Real Real.
Day 3
I was feeling the skirt so much that I ended up wearing the same skirt to the symphony the next day, but changing out the rest of outfit.
The stellar find in this outfit is my vintage Chanel Timeless Camellia bag which I picked up at VSP Consignment. Chanel is tricky for me, because I prefer to not wear visible logos, but this bag manages to be so classic Chanel, yet so very understated.
That’s it for this edition of WIW!
With gratitude and to good health,
Irene
Please keep throwing in casual outfits and event outfits! Both are great inspiration
Loving everything and especially the high low mix, all while feeling rubbish - thank you xx