016/ What I'm Wearing: 2023 Week 13
A closer look at my outfits of the week: my inner monologue of figuring out what to wear in Miami, why I felt so damn self-conscious & pushing outside of my comfort zone.
I wasn’t expecting to do another warm-weather WIW for a while since it’s -4C in Toronto this morning, but the hubs was asked to attend a last-minute work conference in Miami and I jumped at the opportunity to join him. I managed to rearrange my schedule to work remotely and we were off!
Now…what to pack!
I thought it would be worthwhile to break down my thought process because I really struggled with what to wear on this trip, which is really unusual for me. I suspect many of you have felt the same, and I’d love to chat about it in the comments.
Speaking of: anyone can comment on this and all of my other posts, but beginning next week, I’m going to reserve the comments section in future posts for paying subscribers only. It’s not that I don’t want to hear from everyone (I do! And you can still email me if you’d like to share your thoughts!), but I promised when I started this newsletter that I would prioritize my paying subscribers, especially when giving out advice, starting a dialogue about what we wear, answering your specific questions, and sharing links. Most of you know that I’ve struck a balance between my career as a personal stylist and business owner with what I share for free on Instagram and here (up until now) in this newsletter. Going forward, it’s important to me to strike that balance in In Moda Veritas as well — so some of what I send out will be part of my work (for paying subscribers) and some of what I send out will be for free (to everyone).
Okay, back to packing for Miami.
I didn’t have a good grasp of Miami style from the start. The last time I was there was nine years ago and I was terribly nauseous from being five weeks pregnant. I spent the weekend acquainting myself with the porcelain throne, but not with the fashion landscape around me.
As I wrote on the day my son asked me to “wear something more basic”:
When I’m in an environment I’m unfamiliar with, including when I travel, I’m much more likely to dress within what I understand the norms to be. I think this is because I don’t have enough information to assess whether I can push the envelope without causing great offence, or even — in some cases, it’s important to acknowledge — compromising my physical safety.
Whether it’s been Paris Fashion Week, the Marrakech medina or rural India, I manage to figure it out through Google and/or asking around about how people dress, and any cultural or religious codes I needed to be mindful of. And, I usually feel confident and comfortable with what I’m wearing when traveling. But for some reason, I didn’t feel confident about what to wear in Miami, which is rare for me. I spent all three days of this trip observing how people were dressed while at the same time wondering why I was so damn self-conscious about it.1
And then, at the airport on the way home, it hit me.
From what I gathered about Miami style, it’s like New York in the sense that anything goes, yet their vibes are so different. Miami fashion is FUN. It’s heavily injected with bright colours and bold prints and doesn’t take itself as seriously as New York.
And — this was my aha! moment — I also think Miami style is focused on showing off the body to a degree that I don’t see in other fashion cities. It’s what I’ve subconsciously gleaned from media, scrolling through Pinterest photos of “Miami style”, and observing in those around me: people walked around in activewear or were actually working out. In boutiques, racks were filled with cropped/sheer/body-con/cut-outs; and at night, the mantra was: “the more skin the better”.
If you go through my past WIWs, I very rarely wear body-con clothing, especially head-to-toe. In fact, I’m quite uncomfortable in it and I think I only wore such an outfit once in the past year (the Versace leggings from my last newsletter). I’ll occasionally wear a fitted or revealing top or bottom but it’s always balanced by something looser on the other half.
I do wear colours and prints occasionally. Evidently from the photos below, it’s mostly limited to my evening wear, but it’s also usually full coverage. I don’t do it intentionally, it’s just what I gravitate towards. (Note: there is a practical reason I just thought of and that’s the regular bloating I’ve dealt with my whole life; but how I manage that is for another newsletter.)
Fun, colours, prints and body? So far, not really me on all four counts. It’s no wonder I felt unsure of what to pack.
(Just for the record: I know that Miami is incredibly diverse and you can’t pigeon-hole the style of a city based on my limited experience of three days and five neighbourhoods. If you know the city well, I’d love to hear how you would define Miami style in the comments.)
So how did it all go down?
DAYS 1, 2 & 5
Lol, I mean, just look at Exhibits A and B, i.e. what I wore while still in Toronto. Fun, colours, prints, body? Nein.
My husband could have worn both of these outfits (minus the shoes) and felt totally himself. Yet, I also felt myself and confident in the outfit on the left in Toronto on a 5C March day, and the outfit on the right for the plane. When we arrived at the hotel, I ran straight for the beach and danced in the Atlantic Ocean under the rain and lightning. Pure magic.
DAY 3
It’s my first full day and I have a late lunch date at a Cote, a buzzy Korean steakhouse, with the brilliant
. She has a fantastic Substack, so check it out!Based on on what I’ve assessed in the morning and last night of the fashion landscape, I’ve decided it’s okay to wear the Nensi Dojaka bustier and Awake Mode laser cut skirt. Yes, it’s black, but it’s also fun and body-con. I love that both pieces have the same circle motif going on. I’ve worn them separately, dialed way down by wearing them with looser pieces, but it’s Miami and I’m eager to go all-in and wear them together.
All day I teeter on a fine line: half of the day I’m feeling really GOOD — like a bad-ass MILF owning all of her middle-aged assets. I’m loving my outfit as a whole. I’ve toned it down (haha) with the casual bag, flat shoes and messy, pulled back, beachy hair. I’m feeling healthier, sexier and more confident in my perimenopausal body than I have in my entire life.
But the other half of the day, I’m painfully self-conscious because I rarely dress like this. It was the opposite of how I felt on vacation with my family: because anything goes in Miami, I was pushing the envelope outside of my comfort zone, and that made me feel uncomfortable at times.
It was cooler than I was expecting (plus windy and rainy), so I stuffed my black Zara short sleeve sweatshirt in my bag on the way to lunch and threw it on as needed. The resulting outfit on the right is my usual MO: balancing the casual material and relaxed slouch of the top with a dressier, statement bottom. I would be feel 100% comfortable wearing this in Toronto, Milan or Seoul, even during the day.
But, as I’m wearing it, part of me does miss the impact of the outfit with the bustier alone. I’m eager to take off the sweatshirt, and as soon as the sun comes out, I do and I’m right back on the other side of that fine line: feeling an unusual variant of fabulous I seldom feel that comes from pushing my boundaries in a way that I rarely do.
Sadly, Substack has told me this post is too long, so I’m going to have to cut my casual evening outfit. I’m sure I’ll get a chance to wear it again soon and you’ll see it in a future WIW.
DAY 4
I found this Issey Miyake skirt at a consignment store recently and, as one of my only bright-coloured pieces, brought it along. I had planned to wear it with a white short sleeve shirt and my Ancient Greek Sandals which was lovely and pretty, but it felt…too classic? Too predictable? I threw on the same top as yesterday (in grey), added my ugly stability New Balance running shoes and, for some reason, it felt right? I stared at it for a few minutes because, on paper, it didn’t make sense, but *shrug* I was feeling it, so I went with it.
For the evening, hubby’s conference was over so we finally got to share a meal together (the Drexel is fabulous, btw!). I first tried on this Alessandra Rich playsuit in Forte de Marmi last summer and shed tears over it in the changeroom because I felt so incredible in it.
Yes, I loved it, but for the price, I knew I would have very few opportunities to wear it, and didn’t think it was a sensible purchase (Rule #5). But, in an incredible turn of events, someone (not the brand) gave it to me earlier this year. It was kismet! I wrote in an IG story once that the only time I saw myself wearing this is at a fashion party or in a place like Miami — how fortuitous!
Much like yesterday, I’m walking down Collins Ave. with a similar inner monologue running through my head: I’m still feeling self-conscious but, at the same time, it feels so liberating and exciting to wear something outside of my comfort zone and feel so damn fabulous in it. I may not be completely comfortable with more revealing silhouettes yet, but my time in Miami’s particular ecosystem has made me curious to explore this side of my style and personality.
Miami may not be me, but that’s the beautiful thing about traveling: even a short trip within the continent is enough to open my mind to new people, ideas and ways of life!
Okay, that’s it for today! Have a wonderful week, and I hope to chat with you more in the comments.
With gratitude,
Irene
I can’t help but cringe revealing that here. I swear, I do think about other more substantial things too!
I agree with your summation of Miami style - FUN! (For the femmes). All about showing the body off for the sun and moving from that beach look to the evening (as in minima clothing).
Sunglasses are also a big part of Miami fashion - let’s not forget those 🕶️
I love that they still have a BCBG
I loved reading this (and not just because I'm in it). And I must say I loved the tee on top of your sexy buzzy Korean steak house look, only because it was such a foil for that skirt and naked shoe. But all your looks inspire me. Without the risk takers, fashion wouldn't advance at all! XO