062/ Buying Mistakes I've Made: A Seasonal Review
Dissecting my mistakes and what I learned from them!
Today I feel compelled to begin by saying that I am so grateful for the simple act of being able to sit down and write to you.
I often tell people that half my work as a stylist is about “the clothes” (sourcing and styling), while the rest is really about you, the individual, and the alignment and transformation occurring within. It’s hella rewarding work that fills my cup with purpose, which then overflows from your warmth, generosity, gratitude, and so much more. So, thank you!
Now on to the main focus of the article: my buying mistakes!
In my styling practice, my work is as much about helping you choose the right pieces to build your wardrobe as it is helping about you understand what not to buy. With the intention that In Moda Veritas would help you be more discerning in the change room, my very first post was the evergreen Five Questions I Ask Myself Before Buying Anything. Refer to it regularly, as needed!
Of course, questionable purchases still slip through because, well, we’re human. And because perfection does not exist (progress > perfection), I had plenty of personal examples to dissect in my posts about the Buying Mistakes I’ve Made (Part 1 and Part 2) and what I learned from them.
Part 1 focused on the red flags in the clothes themselves, while Part 2 focused on the circumstances surrounding our purchases. My hope was that you could recognize some of your own thought patterns and apply it to your own buying. I encourage you to go back and read those articles in full! I will touch on the main points here, but it’s worth reading the full analysis.
With sale season around the corner, I thought it would be a good time to do an inventory of the purchases I’ve made over the last year, including making note of the buying mistakes I’ve made yet again! Yay me! This is not meant to be an exercise in beating myself up, but a gentle reminder of the principles to keep in mind while shopping. Progress > perfection.
In total, I counted five not-so-great purchases this year: two were egregious lapses (what was I thinking?!), while three were more subtle.
None of the pieces passed the most important underlying principle: Know Thyself — which is the crux of Rule #1 of my Five Questions I Ask Myself Before Buying Anything: “Ask yourself whether you really love it. Do you look in the mirror and love what you see? Does it fit you well, and does it feel good on your skin? Does it evoke feelings in you (!)? Does it take you places in your imagination?”
You need to love what you’re buying (or, at least, really like it) or you won’t be comfortable in it and you won’t wear it.
Which brings me to….
(Egregious) Lapse #1: This sheer, cropped Zara top. I even bought two to minimize the sheerness, trying hard to “make it work” *face palm*.
Guidelines I overlooked: Where do I begin? Do I love it? No. Do I feel like myself in it? No. Do I need it? No. Does it fit into my lifestyle? No. Does it fit well? No. Do I like how the fabric feels? No. Does it work with the rest of my closet? No.
Did I get caught up in a new trend, and ignore seven glaring red flags? YES.
Early in the sheer trend cycle, I was excited when this top popped up on the Zara website. Yay, I get to try sheer! I mean, it’s cropped and pink, but I can make it work with my pink Cecilie Bahnsen skirt!
It’s worth noting here that I love every other piece I’m wearing in this outfit, even my bikini top! I get a lot of use out of my silver patent flats. The handmade floral beaded earrings are an occasional piece, and that’s okay because when I wear them, I feel so darn pretty. And the Cecilie skirt? Guess what…she doesn’t need help because I’ve done a good job of wearing her with my more everyday foundational pieces. For such a statement skirt, she gets plenty of wear.
Ultimately, I couldn’t bring myself to wear the top for a number of reasons. Most importantly, I didn’t get that “love” feeling when I tried it on. Furthermore, it’s cropped, and I don’t wear anything that shows my stomach (personal comfort level). It fit awkwardly; if I lifted my arms, the hem would go over my bustline. The fabric did not feel good against my skin, and made a crunching sound that made me cringe. And on, and on and on.
Basically, I wanted it because sheer was the next big thing, and I wanted to be on trend.
There, I said it. I fall for the “chasing after trends” rat race, too! Even when — most of the time — my knowledge and actions reflect this approach:
The way I assess the fashion landscape is less about looking at current seasonal trends, but rather at the over-arching, high-level direction in which fashion is moving. When something is “trending,” I’ll think about it in the context of the overall picture and what legs, if any, it may have. For example, when oversized silhouettes started “trending” around five years ago, I felt in my gut like that was the direction fashion was moving because we had just been through maybe 15 years of really slim, close-to-the-body cuts.
Ultimately, when I buy something for myself — a statement piece or otherwise — the reason is not because it’s on trend. It’s because I love it and intend to keep it for a long time. It may seem like I’m buying into a trend because when pieces are trending, I’ll see a lot of more of it in the marketplace, which in turn gives me more opportunity to explore whether I like different iterations of it.
For example, cut-outs were a big trend for the past few seasons. I tried on so many cut-out pieces because they were everywhere. I couldn’t avoid them. Ultimately one skirt stood out to me: the Awake Mode laser cut skirt. It wasn’t because it was on-trend, but because, first and foremost, I loved it and knew it would fit into my overall wardrobe.
Confirmed. The Awake Mode skirt is a forever piece for me. Similarly, had a given the sheer trend cycle more time, I may have eventually come across pieces which fit all of my buying criteria, and would integrate well into my overall wardrobe. And, in fact, I did. Like this vintage Lanvin top, this Zara layering piece, and this vintage Prada skirt.
Patience, grasshopper.
It’s further worth noting that I’m not saying that it’s a mistake to buy fun, wild, out-there pieces. Just pick the ones that are right for you. Exhibit A: this Loewe x Paula’s Ibiza metallic fringe number that I picked up at resale.
I mean, it’s kind of bonkers. Yet:
Do I love it? Yes. Do I feel like myself in it? Yes. Do I need it? No, but I don’t have anything like it and….Does it work with the rest of my closet? Yes. Does it fit into my lifestyle? Yes. Does it fit well? Yes. Do I like how the fabric feels? Yes.
I don’t fuss when I wear it (yes, it needs nipple covers, but that’s not a big deal for me). It shows ample shoulders and chest which I am comfortable with, but covers my stomach (again, personal comfort level). The fabric feels delightful on my skin. I don’t need it per se, but it’s a special piece that adds a dimension to my wardrobe: I can wear it under blazers, on its own in the summer, beachside, or layered over a tee for a holiday feel.
As for the pink sheer top? I never wore it out of the house and donated it to the Salvation Army where I’m sure no one else will find it wearable either :(.
L: (Egregious) Lapse #2: These wool fair isle Rag & Bone short shorts.
Guidelines I overlooked: Do I love it? No. Do I feel like myself in it? No. Do I need it? No. Does it fit into my lifestyle? No. Does it fit well? No. Does it work with the rest of my closet? No.
R: Lapse #3: This burnt orange cashmere mockneck sweater.
Guidelines I overlooked: Do I love it? No. Do I feel like myself in it? No. Do I need it? No.
Did I get caught up in a scarcity mindset at this Rag & Bone sample sale? YES.
SALE. SOLDES. SALDI. We’ve all fallen for it.
Or the “Back In Stock” notification for a perpetually sold-out piece. Or the sample sale of one-off pieces you may never see again. Or the consignment store find that’s 20% of retail. Or the designer collaboration you know will sell out as soon as it goes online.
All of these scenarios get our adrenaline pumping and our feast-or-famine instinct to act kicks in. And, act we do!
Sometimes we hit the mark. At the Rag & Bone sale I found a yellow fleece jacket and a navy waistcoat (both mens) which I get good use out of.
But, the short shorts? I think because it was February and the middle of ski season, I thought I could wear them at our chalet? You know, the chalet we rent out once a year and share with friends, and hence, would never be walking around in common areas with them on? Yes, that one occasion.
*face palm*
I ended up giving them to a friend’s daughter.
As for the orange sweater, it wasn’t a terrible buy. It was a practical, cozy cashmere sweater. How hard could it be to incorporate it into my wardrobe with a pair of jeans or sweatpants?
It wasn’t hard, but I just didn’t love any of the resulting outfits. I kept feeling like the cut of the sweater was a bit basic, and although I love the colour and decorate my house with it, it just didn’t gel with the rest of my wardrobe. I think I wore it out of the house once, then gave it to my sister-in-law. Happily, she loves it and it’s right up her alley.
Lapse #4: This oversized Ganni shirt.
Guidelines I overlooked: Do I love it? No. Do I feel like myself in it? No. Does it fit well? No
Did my friend absolutely rock this shirt, and therefore I thought I could too? Yes.
Ah, the old I saw it [on Instagram, on a friend, in a magazine, on the mannequin] and it looked amazing.
Similar to the sweater, I thought: It’s an oversized white shirt — with the bonus of extra details like the subtle bi-colour. How hard could it be to incorporate it into my wardrobe?
Dear readers, not all white shirts are created equal and this shirt didn’t do anything for me. I didn’t get the undone but polished feel I wanted to get in it. I’m not one to fear long and oversized proportions, yet this shirt just felt too long and too big. I think the pocket placement had something to do with it? Maybe because my friend is 3” taller with a larger chest, it worked on her better? I don’t know.
Anyway, this was the only outfit the shirt made it out of the house with before I sold it.
Lapse #5: This Massimo Dutti camel coat.
Guidelines I overlooked: Does it work with the rest of my closet? No.
Did I buy it because it was a “classic,” even though it wasn’t the right “classic” for me? Yes.
I believe this outfit was the only time I wore this coat. Why? Because, despite it being a beautiful classic camel coat, it didn’t work with the rest of my wardrobe and the climate I live in.
You might be thinking, come on, Irene, it can’t be that hard to make an outfit with this coat! And you’re right…it’s not in general, but it was for me and my style (not necessarily yours).
Let me explain…
The coat is an unlined, fall weight, wool coat. Because this coat is in such a classic cut and proportion, to get some tension, I want the rest of the pieces to feel more modern. By fall, this means I’m usually layering and in relaxed and oversized cuts.
The problem is, bulkier tops and layers don’t fit under this coat because the arm holes and sleeves are too narrow. Fine, you say, wear slimmer clothes. I could? But, the overall effect of slim + slim is that the outfit feels too conservative for me. Also, since it’s generally not how I dress, I don’t feel the need to be buying slimmer clothes just so I can get this coat to work, when there are plenty of coats out that would work with my style.
Okay, you ask, how about (pre-fall) transition season? Yes, it’s true, I’m wearing thinner pieces during transition season, and possibly even shorts. But do I see myself wearing this full length wool coat instead of a full-length relaxed cotton trench, or hip-length relaxed leather jacket or blazer? No, I don’t.
Ultimately, the scope of how often I can wear this coat and feel great in it is limited because it doesn’t work with the way I otherwise dress. This “buying mistake” is a good illustration of why I recommend coats with larger armholes and more room through the body if you live in a cooler climate, and tend to wear less fitted silhouettes on top (check, check).
By the way, I love camel overcoats. I just need them more roomy throughout.
That’s it for my self-assessment. I’d love to hear some of your takeaways from today’s post, and what resonates with you. And I encourage you to re-read Buying Mistakes I’ve Made Part 1 and Part 2!
Love and gratitude,
Irene
Your "Five Questions I Ask Myself" has already saved me from making mistakes several times since you posted it! I've returned some items that were right on trend but just didn't feel like me. In this post, I love how your Cecilie Bahnsen skirt, a pretty daring choice, becomes so wearable and so YOU, with either the ski sweater and the moto jacket. Gorgeous! It inspires me to wear the more "daring" items I own in new ways. ❤
Comforting to know that even the experts make mistakes - will be kinder to myself 🙂. I do feel like we’re getting better at taking a breath and being a bit more thoughtful and selective but sometimes that reptilian brain still kicks in!